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Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1

Shownote

Many love stories end when the characters are still in the heady, euphoric early stages of a relationship. But what comes after that intoxicating first phase of love is over? Today, we kick off a new series on the challenges specific to long-term relations...

Highlights

What happens when the initial spark of a relationship fades and couples face the deeper, often unspoken challenges of staying connected over time? This episode dives into the realities of long-term love, exploring why common conflict patterns trap partners in cycles of frustration and how shifting from change to acceptance can transform relationships. We also examine the emotional journey of passion—how it evolves, why it sometimes disappears, and what we can do when it no longer defines us.
03:43
Teasing meant as love can still harm a tender-hearted partner
21:46
His wife bought an e-bike and now cycles with him, turning a point of conflict into connection
28:46
Accepting unchangeable traits reduces relationship toxicity
41:11
One partner is like a cactus needing independence, the other like a fern needing interdependence.
45:02
Labeling relationship problems as 'its' reduces blame and defensiveness
1:00:33
Passion needs to be sustained, not just felt initially
1:12:16
Passionate people may be exploited because they care more and negotiate less
1:18:39
Moralizing passion creates pressure and limits exploration
1:25:16
People worry others will think less of them if they give up a passion, but research shows others are actually understanding.
1:30:00
Retirement should be seen as a stop on a journey, not a finish line.
1:34:55
Passion often requires redefining how we engage with it, not just what we do.
1:48:59
Giving up on a passion creates space for what comes next

Chapters

What happens when love moves beyond the honeymoon phase?
00:00
Why trying to change your partner often backfires
18:34
The truth about never-ending relationship conflicts
25:04
How acceptance can heal emotional distance
33:12
Seeing your relationship patterns clearly—and kindly
45:02
Can you keep passion alive without burning out?
1:00:33
What really causes burnout—and how to fight it
1:09:18
Why waiting to pursue your passion might cost you everything
1:15:32
Is passion a moral duty? The pressure to stay committed
1:22:07
How culture shapes the way we show devotion
1:28:15
Retirement and reinvention: starting over after the peak
1:31:28
When passion dies: grieving and rebuilding identity
1:46:14

Transcript

Shankar Vedantam: Hidden Brain turns 10 this year, and to celebrate, we're bringing the show to cities across the United States and Canada in a live performance. Our next stops are in Baltimore on October 11th, Washington, D.C. On October 12th, and Los Ang...