scripod.com
Reframing the Battle of Wills

Overview

Shownote

Highlights

Transcript

Chapters

Pins

Reframing the Battle of Wills

Hidden Brain

Oct 27
Hidden Brain

Hidden Brain

Oct 27
OverviewShownoteHighlightsTranscriptChaptersPins

Shownote

It can be frustrating when people do things we don't want them to do. A friend cancels plans at the last minute. A child refuses to get dressed for school. Before long, our resentment builds, and we're tempted to issue more rules, reminders, and consequenc...

Highlights

When someone repeatedly acts in ways that frustrate or confuse us, it's easy to assume they're being difficult on purpose. But what if the real issue isn't defiance, but a lack of underlying skills needed to behave differently? This episode explores a paradigm shift in how we understand and influence behavior, moving away from blame and control toward empathy and collaboration.
16:39
People say 'I don't care' not because they don't feel, but because others won't wait for them to process.
28:24
People do well if they can, not if they want to
43:39
True collaborative problem-solving means not knowing the solution in advance.
1:03:38
A guard changed his view from 5% to 95% of inmates benefiting from collaborative problem-solving.
1:06:59
Collaborative problem solving is scientifically based and can save costs and lives.

Chapters

Why Misbehavior Might Not Be Defiance
00:00
The Hidden Role of Working Memory and Self-Control
22:16
From Power Struggles to Partnering in Problem-Solving
31:22
How Empathy Transformed a Psychiatric Ward
49:23
Do Rewards and Punishments Actually Work?
1:06:59

Transcript

Shankar Vedantam: This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedantam. Have you ever been frustrated with someone who never seems to change their behavior? You remind your partner, again, not to leave dirty dishes in the sink. You've had this conversation before. M...