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Love 2.0: Reimagining Our Relationships

Shownote

No one will deny that marriage is hard. In fact, there’s evidence it’s getting even harder. This week on the show, we revisit a favorite episode about the history of marriage and how it has evolved over time. We talk with historian Stephanie Coontz and psy...

Highlights

Marriage today is expected to deliver not just stability, but deep emotional fulfillment and personal growth—demands that have reshaped the institution in profound ways. This episode explores how shifting expectations have transformed relationships, the psychological forces at play, and the surprising role storytelling plays in shaping our love lives and sense of self.
10:24
People now seek partners who share their values and interests for personal growth.
26:45
The Michelangelo effect: partners act as sculptors of each other's ideal selves
40:16
Reinterpreting a partner's negative behavior with sympathy is a powerful 'love hack' for sustaining marriage.
49:39
Every marriage has its own culture, language, and expectations.
1:00:22
The way we tell stories—where we start and end them—changes their meaning without altering the facts.
1:34:03
Retelling her father's death allowed Raquel to see his passing as a protective sacrifice.

Chapters

What Did We Used to Marry For?
00:00
Can Marriage Make Us Better People?
17:10
Why Are Modern Marriages So Hard to Sustain?
29:52
Is Conflict the Key to Deeper Connection?
43:31
How Do Stories Turn Pain Into Purpose?
1:00:22
Can Suffering Become a Source of Strength?
1:13:27
How Retelling Our Stories Changes Us
1:37:29

Transcript

Shankar Vedantam: This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedantam. No matter how many weddings you've been to, it's hard to shake that contagious feeling of optimism. Couples pledge to love one another in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer. Family m...